


Can't Keep Me Down.

by CrypticGabriel



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Brief transphobia, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gender Dysphoria, High School Reunion, Minor Adam/Curtis (Voltron), Minor James Griffin/Ryan Kinkade, Minor Lotor/Hunk (Voltron), Misgendering, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Rekindled Relationship, Trans Femal Character, Trans Female Shiro (Voltron), Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:28:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22961686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrypticGabriel/pseuds/CrypticGabriel
Summary: Shiro was a star athlete in high school and seemed on top of the world. The truth would come just in time for the ten-year reunion, after she began transitioning and being her true self.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	Can't Keep Me Down.

**Author's Note:**

> Another twitter fic thread has reached the surface! I'm posting this one as a little offering for Shiro's birthday!
> 
> I love writing about MtF Shiro and you can pry her out of my cold, dead hands.
> 
> Disclaimer: There are some brief moments of misgendering and transphobia, although they're quickly corrected and counter-argued. Part of this story involves educating people that may seem like they're supportive but actually don't fully understand, so there's always room for growth in all people.

_Taka Shirogane knew she was meant_ to be a woman her whole life. She vividly remembered being four years old and having a mental breakdown when she had to stand up to pee. But those thoughts were pushed to the back of her mind as she grew up, despite each hurdle she had to cross over.

Her parents didn’t understand her situation at all. She’d try to tell them, _“I want to be a girl!”_ as a young child, but they’d say that her request was ridiculous. So, she was forced to live her early life as a boy.

High school was horrible for her. Her voice had already dropped when she was thirteen, and her body bulked up and her height spiked. She towered over most people, and she drew further attention to herself by being the captain of the basketball team. Let’s rephrase that: The captain of the _boys’_ basketball team.

She played for the Garrison High Fighters, and she and four of her other teammates were considered the all-stars. They were her close friends that she’d spent almost all of her time with. Ryan Kinkade, James Griffin, Adam Weiss, and Joe Biggs together with her were an undefeated force. However, there was always something wrong with Shiro’s status as an athlete. She hated being seen as a man, but she loved to play.

There was one benefit to Shiro’s high school experience, and his name was Keith. He was a year younger than her, but Shiro found that they really clicked regardless. They were best friends all through high school together. She almost felt fully open to be herself around him.

_Almost._

She remembered the first time she wore a dress. She was seventeen and alone in her bedroom in front of the mirror. It was a cute little cocktail dress she bought with her money. She loved it, but before she could think about that, all she kept staring at was her body.

She felt ridiculous wearing a dress with her overly masculine body type. She didn’t even know how she built up so much muscles. Her workout regimen must’ve been more aggressive than she thought. She broke down crying at that.

She couldn’t ignore her dysphoria anymore. She did whatever she could to alleviate it. She wore bras to feel more feminine. Panties helped with that, too. She shaved every inch of her body when she saw even one strand of hair outside of what was on her head. She also liked to practice her makeup in private. She thought she did a pretty good job. Too bad no one would ever see it.

Her depression was starting to catch up with her, though. It got to the point where she was miserable, even when hanging out with her best friend. All Keith would do was say things like, “Nice job, dude!” and call her “man,” and “bro,” and she hated that. She wasn’t any of those things.

They were playing video games, Shiro sitting away from Keith further than usual. She also was starting to have strong feelings for him, which was a totally other can of worms that she didn’t want to address yet.

Something from that day really set her off, though.

“Ah, shit!” Keith groaned as they were both eliminated from a match. “Damn. What’s wrong with you, dude?” He glanced over. “Shiro, you’re the king of this game. What’s going on?”

Shiro immediately felt tears in her eyes. She lowered her head and felt so stupid for breaking down crying now.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Keith moved closer. “Shiro hey, why are you crying? It’s just a game.”

She felt worse and rubbed her eyes. “I’m sorry.” She sniffled and looked up. “I-I don’t know what’s wrong.” That was a lie. “So much is going on. I’m asking so many questions about myself. A-and I can’t think about anything else.”

“Questions? Wait…” Keith moved closer. “Shiro, are you gay?”

She wanted to say no. She wanted to say no so badly. But she thought about it. She liked men. She was feminine. May she was just a gay man who was secretly feminine.

That was all this was, right? She was just a feminine gay man. A gay man…

She briskly nodded. “Y-yeah. I think so.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” He smiled. “Me, I don’t really care about someone’s gender. If I mesh well with them, then it just works out that way. Man, woman, nonbinary, it doesn’t matter.”

She could’ve felt more confident right then to tell him the truth… but she just couldn’t. She thought that if she backed out, she wouldn’t be taken seriously.

“W-well, that’s good,” as all she said to that. “Because I… I-I think I might really like you.”

“Yeah?” Keith smiled and leaned in a little bit. His face was a little red. “I’ll be honest. I really like you a lot too.”

“You do?” She blushed.

“Yeah.” He nodded with a smile. “You’re my best friend. We work well together. And you’re very handsome, y’know. You look so hot when you play, with your strong arms and your toned chest.”

She wanted to cry again. She didn’t want those things about herself to be attractive. But if she was supposed to be a feminine gay man, then she’d just have to accept it. Right?

“Thank you.” She smiled and held Keith’s hand.

It was then that she shared her first kiss with him.

\--

 _Truthfully, her relationship with Keith made_ her so happy. She felt like she had a cute relationship with him. They’d hold hands in public and kiss in the stairways. She started falling in love with him. She wanted to be with him. But she wasn’t honest with him.

Every time they tried making out in one of their bedrooms, Shiro would back out before things got too heavy. She didn’t want him to see her in her bra. She knew deep down that Keith was getting a little frustrated with her, but he never showed it. Shiro just felt way too uncomfortable.

She knew what Keith probably expected of her, given her body type. They were both eighteen now, and most couples their age had sex. She just had to figure out how to cope with that, somehow.

There was only one time they tried having sex. It was a couple weeks before their relationship ended. Shiro wore boxers and avoided wearing her bra in preparation for it. They’d taken off their clothes and were in the bed together. They didn’t get very far.

She had no problems pleasing Keith. She used her mouth on him and was inexperienced, but she could tell how good she made him feel. However, when she felt Keith try stroking her and she watched herself getting more erect and even larger than Keith’s cock, she couldn’t take it and wanted to stop.

“I-I can’t do this,” she gasped. “Keith, I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

“What?” He looked up at her. “Shiro, why? What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing,” she snapped. “Can we just stop? Please?”

Keith frowned. “Shiro, talk to me… I don’t know what’s going on. I want this to work, but you keep shutting me out.”

Her eyes started to water. She wanted to tell him. Keith was the best thing that ever happened to her. She didn’t want to ruin this. “I’m sorry. I-I can’t.”

She loved him so much, but if she came out now, she thought he’d leave her. He’d dump her. He’d probably tell everyone. Maybe, worst yet, he’d even call her a liar.

“You can’t.” Keith pursed his lips. “Dude, I don’t know where we’re supposed to go from here. If you don’t trust me, then I don’t think we can keep doing this.”

Shiro just looked away. All she had to do was tell him the truth.

In the silence, Keith got up and redressed. “Some man you are.”

Keith stepped out of her room. Shiro curled up on her bed and started to cry, realizing she’d just lost the best thing that ever happened to her.

They officially broke up two weeks later. Of course, Keith was the one that ended it for the lack of trust. Shiro knew that it was her fault.

\--

 _Shiro stayed deep in the closet_ after that. She went to school on a scholarship for basketball. She’d been in other relationships, too. In those, she did force herself to be okay with having sex. She was always on top, and she hated it.

Her relationships were usually short, but there was one man she was with that she almost married. At the time she had started her career in education. She loved being a teacher, but she just hated introducing herself to the class as Mr. Shirogane.

She thought she loved her fiancé, but the truth was that shew as hiding herself for so long and couldn’t do this anymore. She couldn’t keep living this lie anymore. Her final straw was breaking down when seeing herself in a tux. She came out to him and told him she wanted to be a bride.

He kicked her out and told her he never wanted to see her again.

But that didn’t matter to her now. She was twenty-six, and she finally was ready to start her own life living her real truth. She got a place to stay with a fellow teacher named Hunk, who also was coincidentally from her high school class. Now that she was in a secure place to call her own, she began her transition.

\--

 _Two years after coming out, Shiro_ changed her name and had been on hormones. Wearing a dress to work for the first time made her feel special. The kids she taught were always so open and understanding. Their parents… not so much.

She hadn’t been in a new relationship yet, either. She tried dating apps, but people on there were transphobic or creeps. She didn’t need that kind of stress. Dating was overrated, anyways.

Shiro’s life had changed again when she went to the department store one day. She was getting some items and supplies for her classroom. As she looked around at different stationery, she saw a familiar face she never thought she’d see again.

It was Keith. He was in the same aisle.

Her heart was pounding. She hadn’t seen him in ten years. There was always a part of her that deeply missed him. He was her first love, and frankly he was her only love. But she fucked that up so badly.

She wanted to talk to him, but she quickly realized that it was a bad idea. She looked different now. What if her doubts about Keith accepting her would be true once she told him now? She didn’t want him to hate her.

Keith must’ve realized she was staring, but before he could look over at her, she walked out of the aisle. She walked off as fast as she could.

It broke her heart that she couldn’t talk to him.

\--

 _“My friend is looking to be_ in a relationship.”

“Huh?” Shiro glanced at Hunk while she was doing the dishes. “Well, that’s nice. What’s that have to do with me?”

“Well… I kinda sorta told him about you.”

“What? Why?” Her eyes widened. “Hunk, I’m not looking to date anyone.”

“Come on, Taka, it’s me,” he chuckled. “He was interested when I told him about you.”

“W-what did you tell him?” she stammered.

“That you’re twenty-eight, a teacher, and single. I would never out you to anyone if you didn’t want me to, you know that. But I made sure he was okay with dating trans people first. Which, he is.”

Shiro looked down and tucked some loose hairs behind her ear. “Well, what’s he like?”

“All I can say is that he’s a mechanic and is twenty-seven. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be a blind date, right?”

She bit her lip. “I don’t know, Hunk…”

“Hey, if something bad happens, all you have to do is give me a call. I’ll intervene and pick you up right away.”

Shiro looked down and nodded her head. “I guess so… What’s his name?”

“Blind date,” he grinned.

“Right.” Shiro blushed and walked away to her room.

\--

 _Shiro didn’t know what she wanted_ to wear. She stared at herself in the mirror while wearing a dress. She wore makeup that hopefully complemented the look. She thought she looked beautiful, but that was up to her blind date to decide.

She went to the restaurant about twenty minutes early. She was so nervous and kept noticing people staring at her. It made her feel more self-conscious. She wondered what the date was going to be like, and she couldn’t help but smile. She wanted to be held and talked to and kissed, and she wanted her date to look at her like she was a strong, confident woman.

She kept staring at the door, but right around the time they were supposed to meet here, who she saw walking through the door made her heart stop.

It was Keith. Hunk was friends with Keith? How long had they been friends? What was he doing here?

No, wait. He couldn’t be her date. This was just a coincidence.

She got up from her table. She was far enough from the door that she could sneak into the restroom without being seen. She was near the host’s stand by the time it was Keith’s turn to go up there. She could hear them.

“Hi,” Keith smiled.

 _God,_ she missed the sound of his voice.

“Table for two? The reservation should be under Hunk Garrett.”

The host paused. “Ah, yes. Mr. Garrett is already waiting for you.”

Shiro felt an icy claw tugging at her heart. _Mr. Garrett…_

“Oh, I think you’re mistaken,” Keith chuckled. “Mr. Garrett just made the reservation. I’m meeting a woman here. Is she already sitting down?”

“No woman, but there is a crossdresser sitting at the table under his name. I’ll let you walk over. You can’t miss him. Broad, really tall… kinda has a big Adam’s apple.”

All of her confidence was starting to fade. Her world stopped, and she felt more like a huge starget. She kept trying to hide her flaws with her hands, but there were so many that she felt overwhelmed.

‘Well, that’s kind of rude to point out,” Keith sighed. “Oh well. I guess I’ll wait for him, then.”

_Fuck…_

She ran into the bathroom undetected. She couldn’t stop crying. Fuck, what was she going to do? She tried looking at herself in the mirror, but she kept thinking about what the host said and saw all these things wrong with her now.

At best, she was an ugly woman. At worst, she was just a male crossdresser.

“W-what do I do?” she whimpered. She couldn’t let Keith see her like this. Should she just leave?

She called Hunk, still hiding in the restroom.

“Hello?”

“Hunk, I-I can’t do this.”

“What?” Hunk started to sound mad right away. “Why? What’d he say to you?”

“Nothing,” she whimpered. “Listen, your date for me is my ex-boyfriend from high school. He can’t see me like this.”

“Why not? You never told me you dated Keith.”

“You never asked!” she gasped. “B-besides, he already thinks I’m a man without even seeing me. The host called me a crossdresser. I-I heard him when I was sneaking into the bathroom.”

“That’s fucked up,” he muttered. “Remind me to never go there again. Taka, do you really not want to see him? I’ll pick you up and just text him right now that you don’t feel well.”

“I-I can just go home by myself,” she assured him. “I didn’t have anything to drink.” She wiped her eyes. She knew this was too good to be true.

“Okay. I guess just leave quietly. I’ll text him right now.”

“Thank you. A-and thank you for setting this up anyway. I’m glad you thought of me.”

“Of course,” Hunk said. “I’ll see you when you get home.”

They hung up, and Shiro started to get up. She just wanted to be hiding right now as she stepped out the door. No wonder people in the restaurant kept staring at her.

Her dysphoria hadn’t been this high since she started transitioning. She just wanted to go home.

\--

 _There were no more dates after_ that, but she was too preoccupied with her lesson plans and grading to date anyways. The things the host said about her at the restaurant really did hurt her. She didn’t feel as confident when going out in public. She thought that she’d been passing fairly well, after all. Maybe people were just too scared to say anything.

She wore more pants and blouses to work instead of dresses now. Once this blew over, hopefully she’d start to feel better.

Hunk texted her.

**Hunk: I have friends at the house.**

She bit her lip, not really wanting to be seen by other people right now. But she knew his friends. Hunk knew Pidge and Lance from college, and Allura went to high school with him and Shiro. They hung out here all the time for movie and game nights. They all knew she was trans. She never really joined them when they visited, but maybe this would be good for her.

**Taka: Ok**

**Taka: Did you make food for an extra person? Starving!**

**Hunk: it’s ready for when you come home ;) See you later!**

She couldn’t help but smile. His friends were nice people. She went back to their apartment and could already hear commotion before she opened the door. They must’ve all started playing their game.

“You’re toast this time!” she heard Pidge say as she first walked in. Lance let out a groan seconds later.

Allura laughed. “Dear, you practically walked into that mine field.”

“Man!”

Shiro’s heart pounded. That was Keith’s voice.

“Your ass is mine,” she heard him laugh, and she saw the back of his head from where he sat with his PC on the couch.

Obviously, Keith never came over here before. She was mostly undetected when she went in the kitchen.

She started to feel panicky, going by the counter. Hunk made pot roast. She loved when he cooked dinner. While still hidden, she made herself a plate. If only she wasn’t so clumsy. When she set her plate down, she’d dropped her fork on the floor.

“Shit!” she hissed as she crouched to pick it up.

“Oh, hey, Taka!” she heard Hunk call from the living room. “I didn’t hear you walk in.”

“That your roommate?” Keith asked.

Shiro stayed hiding in the kitchen and just listened to them talk.

“Yeah. She’s a lot of fun,” Hunk said. “She’s really nice, too.”

“Yeah, I love her!” Pidge grinned. “She never hangs out with us, though.”

“Well, she’s a busy woman,” Allura said.

“Ooo, mysterious.” There was a pause. “Who else wants a beer?”

Shiro tensed and stupidly held her plate. She was cornered. Keith was going to see her, and she wasn’t prepared. She had nowhere to hide now.

Before she had a moment to breathe and come up with a plan, Keith walked in. They stared at each other, and all she felt was fear. It got worse with each second of silence between them. There was no way he didn’t recognize her. It was all over his face.

“…Shiro?”

“Hi, Keith.” Hopefully, her voice didn’t sound exactly the same as it did in high school. She’d been in speech therapy long enough to change that.

“Shiro, what… why are you?”

Fuck, why were there tears coming? She could already feel them from how hurt she felt. She thought about their relationship and how it ended. She remembered what he last said to her.

_“Some man you are.”_

“Excuse me.” She ignored her dinner and went down the hall.

“Taka?” Hunk called out. “Keith, where are you going?”

Shiro realized with horror that Keith was following her.

“That’s my ex-boyfriend,” Keith muttered. “I want to talk to him.”

 _“Her.”_ Hunk’s voice darkened in tone, of which Shiro hadn’t really heard from him often. “Don’t you dare misgender her, or I’ll make you leave.”

Shiro stopped walking and turned her head. She was already heartbroken as she watched.

“But he’s not a woman! He played basketball, and he was over two-hundred pounds of pure muscle!”

“It doesn’t matter what she did before,” Pidge scoffed. “She’s still a woman.”

“You don’t know him like I did,” Keith muttered.

“That’s it.” Hunk gripped Keith by the shoulder. “Get your shit and get out.”

“Why? I’m not transphobic. Shiro’s just not a woman!”

“Hunk, wait!” Shiro stepped over. “L-let me talk to him.”

Hunk looked over. “Are you sure?”

She was hesitant but nodded. “I know he’s not a hateful person. He’s not. He’s just in shock.”

At least, she hoped that this was all it was. Either way, she needed to tell him the truth. She should’ve done it ten years ago.

“Fine.” Hunk let Keith go and glared at him. “If you hurt her, I’ll kick your ass.”

She heard Keith follow her again and took him in her room. She knew she probably shouldn’t have, but what they had in the past was something really special to her. It was better that they talked in private about this.

Keith was silent. He looked at her with a glare. She never truly realized how angry he was with her when they broke up.

“Keith…” She didn’t know how to start. “I-I know you hate me now. I know I was such a shitty… boyfriend.” That left a bad taste in her mouth. “It’s because I wasn’t honest with you. It’s true. I’m transgender, and I’d known this about myself since I was a child. I didn’t start my transition until two years ago, and that was when I first came out, as well. I-I wanted to tell you the truth so badly, but I was scared.”

“This is crazy,” Keith frowned. “You mean to tell me that’s the reason why you didn’t talk to me?”

She nodded silently.

“Right.” He scoffed. “Shiro, you played basketball. You lifted weights every day. You were literally dripping with Testosterone. Now, tell me the real truth.”

“That _is_ the real truth!” she cried. “I loved playing basketball, but I hated being on the boys’ team. I hated how I looked for _years._ I hated that everyone saw me as the definition of masculine. Every night when I was a little kid, I wished and prayed that they next morning I could wake up as a girl. I cried myself to sleep every night! W-while we were dating, it was so bad that I didn’t want to live anymore. And I wanted to tell you so badly. I-I did… because I loved you. But I already said that I was a gay man, and I thought if I told you the real truth then you’d leave me.”

She held herself while watching Keith. He’d looked angry and dismissive initially, but now he was just listening. His expression had changed.

“J-just go.” She sniffled. “Now I know I was wrong about you. I-I should’ve known, after you’d just accepted calling me a crossdresser at the restaurant.”

“That was you?”

She broke down at that. “Just leave.”

“Shiro, hold on.” He moved closer. “All this time, I’d thought that you were embarrassed by me. We didn’t go on a lot of dates, and you wouldn’t let me touch you. You mean to tell me that all this time… it was because you had dysphoria?”

She nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Yeah…”

“Fuck,” Keith groaned. “Shiro, you could’ve told me that.”

“Oh, really?” she scoffed. “You sure convinced me, after you just called me a man in front of your friends!”

“I-I don’t know what I was thinking,” he stammered. “All I knew was that I saw you, and it’d been ten years but you looked so different. I… I really don’t know why I said those things. I-I just…”

She held herself and sat on the bed. “It’s alright. I already know I make an ugly woman. I should’ve expected a reaction like that.”

“It’s _not_ alright. Shiro, I’m so sorry.” Keith knelt in front of her. “Really, I am. That was so ignorant of me to say out there. I-I know how badly it hurt you, and I’m sorry.”

She wiped her eyes finally. “I-it’s fine.”

“Truly…” He looked up at her. “If I’d known back then, I wouldn’t have left you for it. But I know now why you didn’t trust me. You don’t have to say anything else. P-please, forgive me, Shiro.”

She saw the genuine hurt in his eyes. “I-it doesn’t matter what someone did before they started transitioning. I’m a woman regardless of what I was like in high school.”

“I know that now,” he insisted. “I really am sorry.”

She nodded. “I forgive you…”

He smiled faintly. “Thank you. I-it’s really good to see you again. I missed you. I really did…”

She listened to him. She did feel relieved, but she felt more insecure. “Go on. Have fun,” she said. “They’ll understand that we talked it out.”

“Why don’t you join us?” Keith asked. “We can always use another player.”

She shook her head. “I-I don’t usually play.”

“Oh, it’ll be fun,” he insisted, standing up and taking her hand. “Just like old times?”

She watched him and bit her lip. “Okay. But I’m really rusty.”

“Great!” They started walking to the door. “Oh. Do you not like being called Shiro anymore? I can stop that.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I have my students call me Ms. Shiro. Shiro or Taka is okay.”

“Alright,” he smiled. “Thank you for talking to me. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d just let Hunk beat me up.”

“It’s alright. You were always my best friend,” she smiled. “And besides… You give Hunk way too much credit. I would’ve kicked your ass instead.”

Keith blushed. “Y-yeah. You definitely would’ve.”

Shiro started to laugh as they stepped out of the bedroom. Everyone was looking at them. “It’s okay now. Back to your battle stations.”

“You really had us worried there for a second,” Pidge admitted. “Keith, don’t ever say anything that stupid again.”

“Oh, believe me. I’ll never,” Keith assured her. “I brought Shiro out to play.”

“I can never get her to play!” Hunk laughed. “Come sit next to me.”

The air felt lighter in here. And honestly, she was glad Keith was here. She’d missed having her best friend to talk to. Maybe now that he was in her life again, she’d start feeling a lot better.

\--

 _Their friendship was back to normal_ after a couple weeks. They made up for lost time. Shiro had told him about her ex-fiancé and elaborated about her teaching job. She ever was honest about when and how she came out.

Keith’s life was drastically different. He had a string of one-night stands and no long-term relationships. He took over his dad’s auto shop when he passed away, and he practically lived there now.

Shiro started visiting to bring him lunch. She remembered the first time she did. Everyone at the shop stared at her, and she immediately felt self-conscious again. She knew Keith’s family. She’d already met Kolivan, Antok, and everyone else at Marmora Auto Shop years ago. But it was different now.

“Who’s that?” Kolivan asked when she stood by Keith’s office.

Keith was quick to defend her, just in case. “Uncle Kolivan, this is Shiro. You guys remember Shiro.”

“Really?” Antok frowned. “Shiro, is that really you?”

She nervously nodded. “Yeah. I know I changed a little bit, b-but it’s still me.”

“Well sure, you’ve changed,” Ulaz teased. “You’re cuter now.”

“Ulaz!” Thace smacked him upside the head.

“What? She is!”

She blushed while everyone had greeted her like nothing happened or nothing changed. Keith’s family was always accepting of other people, even if it took Keith a little longer to realize that himself.

Shiro visited every Tuesday and Friday after school with lunch just to chat. She enjoyed Keith’s company.

“How can you be an elementary school teacher and not know math?”

“I-I _do_ know math,” she protested while Keith laughed. “I’m just not very good at it.”

“Shiro!”

“Too many numbers!” She blushed and tossed a napkin at Keith when he laughed harder. “Leave me alone!”

“Okay, okay.” He grinned and looked at her. “So, like… I thought about that night Hunk tried to set up that blind date. Is that a regular thing for you? Going on dates, I mean.”

She shook her head. “That was actually supposed to be my first real date since I started transitioning. I tried dating apps, but people on there were either creepy or transphobic. There’s no in between.”

“That’s a real shame,” he sighed. “Maybe I can set a date up.”

She looked over. “What, you know a guy that’d go out with me?” she chuckled.

“Well, yeah,” he smiled. “Me.”

She paused and tried to process what he just said. “Oh, uh… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? We’ve dated before.”

“You thought I was a gay man before.”

“So?” Keith moved closer. “You know that wouldn’t have changed how I felt. I miss what we had. I missed _you._ C’mon, we’re great together.” He smiled.

As nice as that sounded, she didn’t feel as comfortable about her body as she did before, if she ever did. “That’s really nice of you, but I’ll have to say no.”

“Oh…” He bit his lip. “It’s okay. I understand. I wouldn’t want to date me either, after what I’d said about you.”

“It’s not about that,” she assured him. “Don’t worry about it. No one wants to date me, anyways. Hell, no one wants to _marry_ me, let alone date me.”

 _“I_ want to date you.” Keith gently took her hand. “Let me prove it to you. Please. It can only be one date, if that’s what you want. I just don’t want you to think that no one would ever want to be with you, because that’s not true. Anyone would be so lucky to have you, Shiro.”

She pursed her lips. She felt like she was going to regret doing this. Keith said that now, but eventually he’d realize… “Okay.”

“Okay?” Keith smiled. “Really?”

“Y-yeah, I’ll go out with you.” She smiled a bit. “One date.”

“I already know where I want to take you,” he said. “There’s this nice restaurant that’s way better than the one with the transphobic host. It’s across the street from it.”

She blushed, not thinking he’d sound so eager. “When do you want to go?”

“It’s Friday. How about tonight? I get off in three hours. Maybe I’ll meet you at eight?”

“Sure,” she smiled. “I-it’s a date, then.”

“Okay,” he grinned. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Yeah…” Shiro left when his break was over. She felt so overwhelmed with emotion now, the prospect of a date completely unexpected. But now… She didn’t even know what she wanted to wear.

That night, she did end up finding a plum colored dress in her closet that she really liked. She even dolled her face up a little more than usual and let her hair down. It’d grown so much, but she always kept it up in a bun. Now, she almost felt beautiful.

_Almost._

“Where are you going, hot stuff?” Hunk teased from outside the bathroom.

She blushed and showed him her look for tonight. “A date. With Keith.”

“Oh, you two are going out after all!” he grinned. “I was nervous about the idea at first, but you were right about him, Taka.”

“Relax, it’s only one date.” She sighed and grabbed her jacket. “Once we go out, he’ll realize what every other guy does.”

“You don’t know that,” he sighed. “Maybe you’ll be surprised.”

She shrugged. “When are you going to ask Lotor out on a date?”

He blushed. “That’s different.”

“Is it really?” she teased. “Alright, I’m leaving. I probably won’t be back ‘til late.”

“I’ll leave the light on. Have fun!” Hunk grinned. “And good luck.”

“Thanks,” she smiled and left.

It was so nerve-wracking, though. She didn’t know what to expect. Would Keith really like her as she was now?

This time, she showed up on time for their date instead of too early. Keith had pulled up the same time she did, and he smiled at her.

“Hey, you made it,” he grinned as he walked over.

“Yeah.” She blushed and looked down at him. God, she was so tall compared to him… Too tall.

“You look beautiful,” Keith said, “C’mon, I’ll take you inside.”

She was dwelling on that. He said she looked beautiful… What if he just said that be nice, though?

Keith talked to the host while he held Shiro’s hand. He was smiling, and his eyes were shining. She couldn’t believe how excited he looked. They were led to a table near the windows, and they got a nice view of the town.

“The food’s really good here,” Keith grinned. “You should try the alfredo pasta.”

She looked down at her menu, unable to stop thinking about what he said.

_“You look beautiful.”_

“You okay, Shiro?”

“Huh?” She blushed and looked up. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

“Good.” Keith smiled. “So, what do you wanna talk about?”

“I don’t even know,” she grinned. “Oh. You know, our high school reunion’s coming up.”

“Yeah, it is,” he chuckled. “You wanna go to that?”

“…Maybe.” She smiled. “I think when they see me, they’re going to be surprised.”

Keith laughed and nodded. “Yeah. They’ll see how hot you got.”

She nearly spat out her drink. “W-what?”

“Wow, who said that?” He blushed. “He almost sounded like me.”

She laughed. “I’m not hot, Keith.”

“Have you seen yourself?” he gasped.

“Ha! So, you _did_ say it.”

Keith pouted and looked down. “You’ve caught me.”

Their night was innocent enough. Shiro ate an amazing meal and talked to Keith more about the high school reunion. She was hoping that it would be extra special, now that she felt ready to come out to her closer friends from that time. She wasn’t sure how well they would take it, though.

“I’m afraid to come out, though,” she mumbled.

“Why?” Keith ate his meal and looked at her.

She shrugged. “I-I guess I’m afraid that they’ll all react like you did.”

He blushed. “Hey, I won’t let that happen. If you really want to go, I’ll go with you. I’ll make sure no one bothers you.”

She smiled, her shoulders relaxing. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” He sat back. “Have room for dessert?”

“Absolutely,” she grinned.

For the first time in her life, she really felt like she could be herself. She had never had this much fun on a date, even while with Keith in high school. There was nothing that could ruin tonight, especially after eating such a delicious brownie a la mode.

“I’m so full, I could burst,” she grinned as they left the restaurant. Keith had paid for everything, and he held her hand while they walked to the parking lot.

“Me too.” Keith grinned and intertwined their fingers. “Did you have a good time?”

She nodded. “I did. I had fun.”

“I did too.” Keith smiled. “You know… of all the dates we had, this was probably the best one.”

“What makes you say that?” she asked curiously as they stopped by her car.

Keith held both her hands now. “Because tonight, you were being yourself. I’ve never seen you this happy.”

Her face turned red as she smiled. “I am much happier now. I’m glad you get to see the real me.”

He smiled. “Can I kiss you good night, Shiro?”

“I don’t know. Can you?” she teased.

“You’re so funny.” He rolled his eyes and held her waist.

When he kissed her, Shiro hummed in bliss. She always had to initiate everything in the past, especially kisses. Finally being submissive felt so amazing. They shared little kisses in the parking lot, one after the other.

After they pulled away, Shiro couldn’t stop smiling. She still felt Keith’s hands on her waist.

“Do you think we can go on another date?” he asked her sweetly.

She bit her lip and diverted her eyes. “Hmm…” She pretended to think it over. “Maybe.”

“I’m hurt.” Keith smiled at her in jest and gave her another kiss. “Good night, Shiro.”

“Good night.” Their hands lingered, ever after Keith stepped back.

Shiro sighed as she watched him leave. When she was alone in her car, she helplessly started to cheerfully laugh at remembering how amazing it felt to be kissed like that. Her fingers pressed on her lips for a moment. They still felt tingly.

She was still giddy when she got home. She would’ve talked about the kiss alone for hours but opted not to so Hunk could remain sane. But she knew this was all she could think about for weeks.

\--

 _They went on another date. And_ another. And another. It just happened so naturally. And at the end of each date, they’d kiss each other like giddy high schoolers. It was almost like nothing changed.

At the next game night, Shiro was snuggling against Keith to watch him play while he competed with anyone else.

“I’ve got you this time,” Keith teased aloud.

“No way. This ion blaster will make you cry home to mommy, big boy.” Pidge smirked and typed furiously on her keyboard.

“Fuck!” he groaned and slumped back. “I’m out.”

“You’ll get her next time.” Shiro smiled and rubbed his shoulder.

Pidge grimaced. “You two are so cute, it’s disgusting.”

Shiro blushed and hid her face in Keith’s shoulder. “Shush.”

“So, our graduating class is having our reunion next Friday night.” Allura looked over at the couple. “Are you two going?”

Shiro nodded. “I want to see everyone. I think it’ll be fun.”

“Yeah, it will be.” Keith grinned, rubbing her arm. “Everyone will be so jealous that I’m going out with the most gorgeous woman in the world.”

“Stop it,” she teased and gave him a nudge. She didn’t really believe the compliment, either.

Hunk brought dinner over to the coffee table. “I’ll go too. It’s been a while since I’ve seen everyone.”

“Like Lotor?”

Keith glanced over and watched Hunk’s face go red after Shiro mentioned him. “You had a crush on Lotor?”

“Y-yeah, well. I never talked to the guy. I was the fat kid, so I figured he wouldn’t even notice me.”

Shiro scoffed. “Shut up, you handsome beast. You’re going, you’re sweeping Lotor off his feet, and you two will ride off in the sunset and fuck like jackrabbits! And I’ll be the maid of honor at your wedding.”

Hunk was hiding his face now. “Takaaaa, you’re embarrassing!”

“I’m only speaking the truth.” She smiled and reached out to pat his arm. “I believe in you, buddy.”

“Yeah, I love you too.” He grumbled and started a match with Lance. “If it doesn’t work out, you’re buying me a drink.”

“I’ll buy you _ten_ drinks.” She went back to hugging Hunk. “That’s how foolproof my plan is.”

“Uh-huh. Sure…” Despite that, Hunk was smiling to himself.

Keith stayed at the apartment even after everyone else left. He stayed snuggled with Shiro on the couch, and Shiro enjoyed getting more kisses.

At some point, she was on her back on the couch with Keith on top of her. Their lips locked in between Keith curling his tongue around hers. All Shiro could do was moan, overwhelmed and shivering from pleasure.

“Keith,” she gasped when he pulled away. “K-Keith, I’m…” His lips then trailed down to her neck, and she forgot what she was going to say.

Keith just hummed, sucking a dark mark by her collarbone. She tensed when Keith’s hands moved up her shirt, and he was groping her through her bra. She hated that she started getting scared, but she quietly started pushing Keith away. “K-Keith, I can’t.”

He looked up at her. “What happened? Are you okay?”

She nodded nervously. “I-I’m scared. I can’t do this.”

“Shiro, it’s okay.” He smiled at her. “It’s not like I’ve never seen you naked.”

Her lip quivered as she shook her head. “I can’t do it.”

He sighed and started sitting up. “Figures.”

She felt wounded as she watched him get ready to leave. “Wait. Keith, i-it’s not that I don’t want to.”

“Then, what is it? You were doing the same thing ten years ago.” Keith sighed and held her hand. “I told you. I don’t care what your body looks like. It doesn’t matter to me. I like you for you.”

“That’s the point,” she frowned. “I want you to care. I want it to matter.”

“That’s not what I mean when I say that,” he sighed. “I don’t want you to be scared to show yourself to me. You’re still going to be my girlfriend, and you’ll still be beautiful.”

She looked down. “I’m afraid because of a lot of things. I’m taller, and bigger, and… well, _bigger,”_ she mumbled.

“Well, your hormones change that, don’t they?” she asked curiously. “I wouldn’t worry about it being as big as it was in high school.”

“I still think it’s too big,” she said. “I’m not ready. I-I’m sorry.”

She expected Keith to be angry, but he wasn’t even annoyed. He took a deep breath and kissed her forehead. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“What?” She looked up at him in surprise. “You’re not mad.”

“Of course not,” he insisted. “This was all I ever wanted from you, Shiro. I wanted you to talk to me. I wanted you to tell me if you were scared or nervous. You didn’t tell me _anything_ back then. You were honest with me tonight. Thank you.”

She sighed in relief and gave him a hug, nuzzling his shoulder.

I’d better get going. Get some sleep. You gotta finish your grading in the morning.”

“Oh yeah.” She blushed and looked down. “I nearly forgot.”

“Good thing I didn’t.” He smiled and kissed her lips. “Good night.”

“Good night, Keith.” She showed him the door and sighed as she went to bed.

She couldn’t fall asleep right away, though, still thinking about Keith. She wanted him so badly. Why was she still so scared? She knew her dysphoria was really bad, but she didn’t want it to ruin her relationship with Keith again.

She glanced at the time. It was after eleven, and she really should be going to bed. But she was about to try something she hadn’t done in years.

In her past relationships, she almost never touched herself. She hated looking at herself, even in the shower. The only time she got pleasure was when her exes wanted her to fuck them. The association of those two things must’ve made herself feel worse about sex. But she didn’t want to feel that way anymore.

She’d gotten a wand vibrator to please herself a couple years ago, but she never used it. She didn’t even look at herself naked, so what was the point? But tonight, she decided to be spontaneous. She stripped herself but refused to look down between her legs.

She spread them wide and held the vibrator in her hand after slicking the end up with some lube. When she turned it on, it thrummed in her hand while she lowered it. She shivered at the vibrations on her skin when she had it on her thigh. It took a moment of bravery to press it down on her clit.

Her eyes widened at the sudden shocks of arousal. She could feel it twitch and fatten up, but the change wasn’t nearly as dramatic as before she was on hormones. She was shaking, imagining that Keith was here to please her.

She wanted his mouth on her. She wanted him to suck her clit and take it down his throat. She wanted him to tease her and drag out her orgasm just a little bit longer.

What was she saying? Would Keith even want to touch it, now that it was different?

She shook her head to clear that intrusive thought, whining in pleasure.

When she increased the speed, she moved the toy up and down the length of her clit and gasped out several little moans of pleasure. Her free hand groped one of her breasts, and she teased the nipple with her fingers.

“F-fuck,” she whimpered, hips rocking up. “Y-yes. Fuck me…”

She imagined Keith hovering over her, bending her in half and having her legs up over his shoulders. She choked at the thought of feeling him inside her, splitting her in half on his cock. He was such a good and attentive lover, so wonderful, and fucking amazing in bed.

She wanted that future with him. She’d wanted it for so long, since she knew what it felt to love Keith that way. Her hand moved faster, the vibrator now pressed hard on the head.

“C-coming… I’m coming,” she whimpered, tensing and shaking violently as her body responded.

She came so hard that she nearly blacked out, shooting spurts of white on her thigh. Her breathing was still shaky, and she stared up at the ceiling. The love for her body that she hoped she’d feel didn’t happen. It was only in that moment, if it was ever there at all.

The reality was that she ended up cleaning her mess in shame. The only other place she thought she could turn to was online. Maybe other pre-op trans women could help her cope with how she felt.

Most had said that she should learn to love her body as it was right now. If she spent so much time hating it and never looking at it and thinking it was so ugly, no wonder she always felt so horrible. No wonder she’d never let Keith touch her. But that didn’t seem as simple as it sounded. How was she supposed to love herself like this?

Every other woman she saw looked so pretty and confident, even when they were sharing pictures of their bodies. But those women were pretty. She wasn’t pretty.

 _Keith_ thought she was pretty.

She’d just made a brand new account, but she tried sharing a picture of just her face.

**“I’m new here. Been on hrt for 2 years. Still can’t really bring myself to look at my body. Do I even look like I pass? You’re all so lovely and gorgeous, but sometimes I feel like I still look how I did pre-transition.”**

It took some effort, but she shared a pre-transition photo of herself alongside her current one. And then she closed the website and never planned on looking at it again.

\--

 _Their high school reunion was now_ this weekend. Shiro was in a relatively good mood, and her students seemed to notice. She was happy, and Keith made her feel special.

On the day of the reunion, she spent all day trying to pick out her outfit. She settled with a black dress and tied back her hair, putting her earrings in. She was so desperate to impress that she must’ve put her makeup on ten times. It never looked right to her.

She didn’t want the biggest day she’d been looking forward to for so long to be the day that her dysphoria would spike, but she was so nervous! What if everyone in their class turned against her? After all, she was considered one of the most popular guys in school.

“Taka?” She heard Hunk knock. “You almost done? I still need to brush my teeth.”

“Y-yeah.” She stammered and opened the door. “Sorry…” She stepped out.

“Whoa,” he gasped. “You’re a knockout!”

“You think so?” She glanced at him.

“Hell yeah! You’re gonna be the hottest lady there.”

She smiled. “You still want to drive me?”

He nodded. “Yeah, let’s go.”

They walked to Hunk’s car, and during the ride there she couldn’t shake her nerves. She kept having flashbacks to high school, thinking about all those basketball games and joking around with the guys. Those were her friends… her second family. They’d be the first people to shun her, probably.

She thought about this one time where another girl saw her bra strap through his button-down she was wearing, how she laughed at her. What was she doing now? She remembered all those nights where she’d stay up crying. This all happened in high school. What if coming here was just going to be a disaster?

“Well, we’re here.”

Shiro didn’t even notice how close they were. She looked up and saw the familiar building. She thought she was going to have a heart attack.

“I-I don’t think I can do this,” she gasped, panicking. “What was I thinking?”

“Hey. If anyone acts like a dick in there, you’d kick their ass.”

She blushed. “That’s true.”

“And if your old friends don’t accept you, fuck them.” Hunk grinned. “They’re missing out.”

She smiled faintly. “Promise me you’ll talk to Lotor. Okay?”

“I promise.” He smiled, and they stepped out of the car.

“By the way.” She looked at him. “I’m pretty sure he’s a millionaire now?”

“He’s a what?”

“Good luck!” She smiled and waved, walking off ahead.

Keith was already waiting for her at the front door, already wearing his name tag. He was so handsome in a suit.

“Hey,” he grinned and reached out his hand.

“Hi.” She was still nervous while taking his hand.

“I know I say this all the time, but you’re so beautiful.” Keith smiled.

“You should see what I see when I look at you.”

Shiro looked down, her face a bright red. With how sincere he looked when he said that, she started to believe him. “I’m not the last one in there, am I?”

“Nah, I think some people aren’t coming anyways.” Keith leaned close, kissing her cheek. “Let’s go in.”

“Okay…” She took a deep breath and walked in with him, holding his hand.

The name tags were on a table, and her blood chilled when she saw her deadname staring back at her. She glanced up at the woman handing them out. “Do you have a marker?”

“Uhh, sure.” She looked around and grabbed a fat marker for her.

Shiro smiled as she started coloring over the last few letters of her name so that only _“Taka”_ was visible. When she was satisfied, she stuck the nametag on her chest. “There. Much better.” She smiled at Keith.

The woman didn’t really say anything, until Shiro heard her cry, “Oh my god, Hunk! You lost so much weight!”

Nearly everyone from their class was together, talking to each other and not really noticing Shiro. She felt a little relieved at that.

“We’re blending in,” she sighed.

“Yeah.” Keith smiled and gently squeezed her hand. “See, it’s not so bad.”

She heard some familiar voices and tensed. The all-star seniors from the basketball team were all here laughing and carrying on. She pretended not to notice them.

“All who’s left to get here is Shiro.”

“Yeah. Man, what’s he been up to?”

“I dunno. Last I heard, he cancelled his own wedding.”

“I miss that son of a bitch. It’s not the same without him!”

Shiro thought she couldn’t breathe. She was so scared.

“You don’t have to talk to them.”

“I want to,” she started nervously. “I want to come out to them. B-but they’re like my family. I don’t want them to hate me.”

“I’m right here if you need me.” Keith smiled and kissed her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Okay…” She took another deep breath. “Here goes nothing.”

All four of them were still laughing together. James, Ryan, Adam, and Joe stood together with drinks in their hands, still laughing. Coach Iverson was near them, too. She stepped forward to do one of the scariest things she ever had to do.

“…Hey, guys.” She waved at them.

The four of them all stared at her. They were around the same height, except James, who was shorter.

“…Shiro?” Ryan’s jaw dropped.

“No way. That’s not Shiro.” Joe scoffed and looked at her.

“It is!” James glanced up at her. “What did you do?”

She bit her lip. “I uh… I changed.”

“I can see that!” Joe laughed. “I didn’t think you of all people would do this to yourself. What, did you get rid of your dick, too?”

She tensed and started to step back. “T-that’s none of your business.”

“God, you’re ugly as hell. Why’d you do that to yourself?”

She felt her eyes water, and she didn’t know what to do. “I-I…”

“Joe, what the fuck?”

Shiro tensed when she watched Ryan shove Joe away. He glared, and Adam and James stood by him.

“Come on. None of that is normal!” Joe pointed at Shiro. “He was the captain! He was the _man!_ This bullshit even got to him! Is nothing safe?”

“Back off!” Ryan shoved him harder.

“Leave her alone, Joe.” James clenched his fists.

“You’re all crazy!” Joe glared and finally stepped away. “So that’s it, then?”

“Let’s not give him our time.”

Adam walked away from Joe, the other two following. They ignored him even as he tried getting their attention. They walked over to Shiro as she was about to cry.

“Are you okay?” Adam looked at her.

Ryan sighed. “I’m really sorry about that. The weak need to be weeded out, y’know?”

She looked at them, more confused than before. “You guys aren’t mad either?”

“Why should we be?” James chuckled. “You’re still the same person.”

“Yeah,” Ryan smiled. “You’re just a much happier version of the same person.”

Shiro blushed and nodded. “Y-yeah. That’s right…”

“Coach Iverson!” Ryan glanced over. “Coach, look who’s here!”

Iverson walked over to the group. He looked over at Shiro, tilting his head. “Shiro, is that you?”

She nodded her head. “Yeah. It’s me, Coach.” She tucked some hair beside her ear.

“Welcome back!” Iverson grinned. “You look so different. Are you still on your exercise regimen?”

She blushed and laughed. “Very funny, Coach. I teach kids, actually. Third grade.”

“Oh, you do? Do you have a kid named Paul Iverson?”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “He’s one of my best students.”

“Yeah?” Iverson grinned. “That’s my grandson.”

“No kidding.” She started to finally relax. This was what she wanted. It felt like nothing changed. She could talk to her old friends and people she loved so casually.

“What have you guys been up to?” she asked curiously.

“Oh, uh…” Ryan held James’ hand. “Well, we’re engaged.”

“Really?” She smiled. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” James blushed. “June sixth. Save the date!”

“I will,” she smiled. “What about you, Adam?”

He blushed. “I just started a relationship. It’s too soon for marriage, but Curtis is a great guy.”

“Good,” she said.

“What about you, Shiro?”

She smiled and turned her head. Keith was laughing with Hunk and Lotor, and that made her feel more excited. She knew it’d work out between the two of them! She glanced back at her old teammates. “Keith and I are back together.”

“Hey, nice!” Ryan patted her shoulder. “You two were always so great together.”

She grinned and nodded. “Thanks. It’s been so good to see you guys.”

Everyone in the graduating class started reminiscing about the big highlights from their senior year. Allura was the student body president that year, so she’d volunteered to do a nice presentation.

“This reunion, we have something very special,” she grinned. “Our graduating class was the one-hundred-year anniversary of our school. That year, we did a time capsule! And now, ten years later, we’re going to all watch it together!”

“What?” Shiro blanched. “I-I thought that was being buried for a hundred years.”

“Why, what’s the matter?” James looked over.

She bit her lip. “It’s just that mine was extremely personal. Excuse me.” She remembered when they did those. It was after she and Keith broke up. She walked over to him, with Hunk and Lotor still together with him. “Keith?”

He glanced over. “Hey. Shiro, are you okay?” The video was starting.

“I-I can’t watch this,” she said nervously. “I was in a really bad place when we made these.”

“It’s alright,” Keith tried to assure her. “Maybe it’s a good thing.”

“How?”

“You’re in a better place now. This could be a good way to look back and see how far you’ve come.”

“I-I guess…” Shiro looked back at the video. It had already been playing while they talked.

Hunk’s excerpt came up on the screen. _“So, a hundred years ago, for you guys, things have been a little crazy around here. But, I’m pretty hopeful for the future. In fact, in a hundred years, I predict that these greedy politicians would rub all their brain cells together and figure out how to solve world hunger.”_

Shiro watched Hunk blush while Lotor laughed with him.

When he saw Keith’s he was just smiling at the camera. _“So, what was it like a hundred years ago? Well, a little complicated. Government’s kinda scummy, but school’s pretty good. So, in a hundred years, I’m just hoping we’re all still alive.”_

There was a light chuckle in the room.

Shiro smiled while holding Keith’s arm. She watched more of the other classmates, and everyone was laughing at how they looked ten years ago.

Allura’s video was probably the best. _“A hundred years ago, all of us here at Garrison High have had this great sense of comradery. It’s not always like high school in the movies. Sometimes, you meet pretty amazing people. I hope there’s still that sense of family in a hundred years. Do my proud, Garrison Fighters!”_

Each of Shiro’s teammates were up next, and she grew more nervous. Hers had to be up soon. And, sure enough, there was her pre-transition self on the screen: a miserable young man that frequently contemplated his life.

People were already cheering before she began to talk. There were people already talking about her.

“Hey, it’s Shiro!”

“God, he was so hot.”

“I bet he’s still hot now.”

“Where is he, anyway?”

She watched herself take a deep breath. _“One hundred years… Wow.”_ She’d let out a faint chuckle. _“I guess we survived a nuclear holocaust, after all. Let me be honest with you about what is was like a hundred years ago. Sometimes, people are born into these situations where no one really understands them. And you can’t even talk about it, because like I said, no one understands you.”_

She felt her eyes water as she listened to herself. She hated how sad she used to be.

_“I’m sure there’s probably going to be a bunch of clips in here of me… playing basketball and carrying on with the guys. But that’s not really me. That’s not who I am. But I can never be the real me. In a hundred years, I hope that people like me can actually be free to be who they really are. So, I challenge you to do that. If people made you man up your whole life and live as a man, and you wanted to wear a dress and feel beautiful and good about yourself, go for it. Don’t be like me. Be who you always wanted to be. You don’t have to conform to anything. If society’s forcing you to hold back because of your gender, tell them to mind their business, and you go out there and express yourself however you want.”_

She rested her head on Keith’s shoulder as the next clip started. It was a student she didn’t recognize, but everyone around them stopped talking. People were looking at her and putting two and two together, but the best part about that was no one judged her.

She felt at peace. She felt Keith kiss her hair, and she couldn’t help but smile. She wished she could tell that young man that everything would work out in the end.

“See? It was a good thing, after all.” He smiled at her. “I’m proud of you.”

She looked at him with a smile. “I love you.”

He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. “I love you too.”

She gave him another kiss, happy and feeling content. She felt so great beside him, and sure of herself, and…

_Ready._

She finally was ready to let herself go, on her own terms.

She smiled. “Do you wanna get out of here?”

Keith blushed. “What? N-now?”

She nodded and smiled. “Yeah. I’m ready.”

He grinned. “I’ve never felt so happy to hear two words in my entire life. Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

She giggled while holding his hand. Everyone applauded once the time capsule video was over. She looked at Hunk as they were walking out. “Hey. Don’t wait up for me. I’m going home with Keith.”

“Yeah?” Hunk grinned. “You go, girl! Have a good time.”

“And are you going home with Lotor?” She winked.

He blushed. “I think that’s going to be arranged very soon.”

“Then, you have fun too!” she smiled. She giggled as Keith took her out of the venue. “Shit, it’s raining!” She gasped as they walked away from the awning. They did call for it, but she didn’t expect a downpour.

“Let’s hurry, then!”

They rushed to his car, and all the while Shiro kept feeling him kiss her hand. Keith fumbled with the keys when he tried getting them both in, Shiro laughing while she stumbled in the car. They met each other halfway with a kiss, cold and dripping wet.

Shiro held his face to keep him close, shivering when he parted her lips with his tongue.

“I want you,” she gasped against his lips. “I want you so bad.”

“Soon, baby.” They reluctantly pulled away. As Keith drove, he held her hand.

She started to look at her phone and scroll down. She realized she had so many notifications from her post online the other day. There were so many overwhelmingly positive compliments. They were all telling her how much better and happier she looked, and they all thought she was beautiful.

Her confidence spiked again, and she smiled to herself while Keith drove. She was so glad that she was finally ready.

She was so excited to see his house. They ran through the rain again, with Shiro holding her shoes. Keith quickly shut the door behind them, and he pinned her back against the door before kissing her deeply once more. She whined while holding onto him for dear life.

Her eyes fluttered closed, and she’d be happy to do whatever he wanted, wherever he wanted to do it. Hell, he could fuck her against the door right now, and she’d be happy.

Keith pulled away to start kissing down to her shoulder, pulling down a strap of her dress. “Let’s hurry to the bedroom,” he murmured against her skin. “I can’t keep my hands off you.”

She smiled and took hold of his hand. She quietly led him to the bedroom, and although she was scared as hell, she maintained her newfound confidence. Keith followed her like a starving man. They barely made it in the room before they started kissing once more, tugging off Keith’s clothes. They threw them around the room, and Keith lifted her up briefly before bringing her down on the bed. She grinned and pulled him close.

In between kisses, they toyed with her dress zipper. They were both clumsy, but Keith pulled it down the rest of the way and tugged it down her legs while trying not to rip it. As she took heavy breaths, Shiro noticed the way Keith stared at her body. She took one of his hands and brought it to her chest.

“Keith…”

“Let’s get this off you.” Keith reached back to her bra’s hook. “Yeah?”

She nodded breathlessly, gasping as she felt him unhook it. He pulled it off and tossed it across the room. She shivered when feeling his hands on her.

“So gorgeous,” he grinned and kissed down to her chest. “Taka…”

“Nnh!”

He groped her breasts, kissing one of them while he fondled the other. She let out a string of moans, voice breaking when he teased a nipple with his tongue. He didn’t stop, even when he started pinching the other one.

“Keith.” She gasped, holding his hair. “K-Keith, fuck!”

She already felt so much arousal from this alone, and she arched her back into his touches. She bit down hard on her lip when Keith switched and started sucking on the other nipple. They were so sensitive now, erect in the cool air of the bedroom. But she loved it.

Keith pulled back and started kissing down her body once more, and she looked up at her when moving down to her middle. His hands were on her waist. “God, look at you…”

Shiro blushed and stroked his hair. “I love you.”

She jolted as Keith pressed down a bit on her crotch with his chest.

“Baby, I love you too.” His fingers teased the fabric of her panties. “Can I take these off you?”

She started growing nervous once more but nodded her head. “Y-yes.”

Keith kissed just above her pelvis before slowly pulling down the thin fabric. He took his time with it. She only looked down to see for a second and saw how fat and heavy her clit looked from the attention she was getting. She couldn’t stop looking at it as a penis and letting the thought that she had an organ more affiliated with masculinity into her head, and she quickly looked away to keep her stare at the ceiling. Thinking that Keith only saw it that way too scared her.

She always associated it with such bad memories of trying to satisfy her past lovers. Sometimes, she would be so upset that she’d tell them that she could only perform if they were facing away from her, but that was only because she didn’t want them to see her cry. It wasn’t their fault. None of them knew the truth, after all. But just thinking about those memories and knowing how… _male_ she always associated it with upset her.

“Shiro…” Keith noticed. “Baby, look at me.”

She quickly shook her head. “I-I can’t. I don’t want this to stop.”

“It won’t stop if you don’t want it to.” Keith stroked her hips. “I just don’t want you to feel sad or scared while we’re together… Please, look at me.”

As she did, her lip quivered at the sight. Keith’s eyes were warm as he looked up at her with a smile.

“Baby, it’s okay,” he murmured. “Don’t you see how perfect you are?”

She shook her head. “N-not while you’re looking at that.”

“Why not? Shiro, it’s a part of you. And any part of you to me is perfect. I know you’re not happy with it right now, but what I see is that you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, regardless of what’s between your legs. While you still have this right now, you should love this part of you too. And someday, when you change it, that love will just continue to grow. Don’t feel ashamed of it.”

She shivered and stroked his hair. She wiped her eyes with her free hand. “I-I guess so.”

“I know it will take time. Just tonight, I want you to see how special this makes you and how perfect you are. Is that okay? Can we try that?”

She nodded her head silently, which made him smile.

“Okay. I want you to be comfortable. So, you’re not obligated to look or watch. Just enjoy the moment right now.”

She nodded and took a shaky breath as she opted to look up at the ceiling. At the same time, she felt his fingers delicate run over her swollen clit. Her breath hitched at the slightest attention. It didn’t help one bit when she felt his mouth on her.

She gasped, feeling kisses and little licks up and down the shaft. Keith was holding it in his hand now, Shiro now curling her fingers into his scalp little by little.

“How does it feel?” Keith pulled back. “Talk to me, baby.”

“It’s good,” she gasped. “You’re really good at that.”

She heard a chuckle before Keith ran his tongue up from base to tip. “Yeah? What are you thinking? You want me to suck on your clit, baby?”

“Y-yeah,” she whimpered. She never thought she’d say yes to that, but she wanted it. Whatever Keith was willing to give her, she wanted it. Her nerves were high wired already.

Keith pressed the tip into his mouth, taking more of her with each second that passed. His tongue was doing wicked things to the underside.

“F-fuck,” she whimpered. His mouth felt so hot! The way he pleased her and the way she took in these sensations were electrifying. She was so curious that she found herself looking down again to watch.

Keith’s cheeks were hollowed as he sunk his mouth down further before bobbing up, looking up at her and humming around her clit. She helplessly felt more turned on by that. She couldn’t believe how amazing it felt. She felt so good, and she held his hair tighter as she whimpered.

“F-fuck…” She was shaking and pushed her hips up.

Keith moaned around her and let her fuck his mouth, eyes closing.

“Keith, that’s s-so good.”

His hands moved up to her breasts, and she whined when his fingers brushed over her still tender nipples. She felt heat pooling up, coiling tighter and tighter with each second that her clit was down Keith’s throat.

“I’m not gonna last,” she stammered. “I-if you don’t’ stop, I’ll come!”

Keith just opened his eyes and looked up at her. The look on his face was dangerously dark, and not once did he slow down.

Her body tightened up, and she couldn’t stop moaning and gasping when she finally felt it all release. She spilled into his mouth and cried out and pulled on Keith’s hair when her fingers were just a little too tight on his scalp. Her legs couldn’t stop shaking, even when she finally let go so Keith could hold back. There were tears in her eyes, but in no way was she sad, or ashamed, or self-conscious.

For the first time in her entire life, she felt special and desired. She felt revered by the man that loved her. It sounded superficial to think that it took a good sexual experience to feel that way about herself, when she thought about it, but she didn’t care. What mattered to her the most was that she still felt so confident after so long, and she was so deeply in love with Keith right now for helping her get this far.

He noticed her tears and started to move up, looking worried. “Are you okay?”

She quickly nodded and smiled. “I-I just… I love you so much.”

He grinned and kissed her lips. She could taste herself on his tongue, but she was soothed by that.

“I love you too.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “You’re so amazing, Taka.”

She never minded when Keith called her Shiro. After all, it was her nickname. But hearing him call her Taka while they were together like this felt so nice.

He gently wiped away her tears. “You’re shivering.” He chuckled, and his fingers traced over her collarbone.

She giggled and took his hand, kissing his fingers. She nearly forgot they were soaking wet still from the rain, and she was cold. “You’ll just have to warm me up, then.”

“Yeah?” he grinned and kissed her nose.

She nodded her head, spreading her legs. “Can we?”

“Yes, baby, of course…” He started sitting up and pulled his briefs down, already erect.

She always missed how he looked. She still remembered vividly when she gave him a blowjob. She was in a much better place now than she was back then. She was so excited they were doing this.

“Like what you see?” Keith teased.

She blushed darkly and nodded. “Always.”

He laughed and reached into his nightstand. “I always like what I see, too.”

She was flustered and held her legs up for him. In the back of her mind, she realized that she’d never received before, and it was more likely than not that Keith knew that. But she was red. God, she was _so_ fucking ready.

Keith’s fingers were all slicked up when he lowered his hand down. Shiro gulped as she felt his hand. His fingers were teasing over her hole, one of them pushing through her furled entrance. Her brows creased up when it pushed inside.

“It’s okay…” Keith crooned and kissed her forehead. His finger moved slowly, skilled and careful. “How does it feel?”

“Strange,” she gasped. “B-but I like it. Keep going.”

He kissed her again, picking up the pace. Her fingers curled into her thighs while she held them up.

“Ah…” She whined and relaxed deeper into the bed. This was just one finger, but she already felt so good.

Keith pulled it out briefly to join a second in with the first. They moved in together, and Shiro gasped at the gradual thickness. She felt so good that she couldn’t speak. She moaned when feeling his fingers move faster together, stretching her open and increasing a pace until he was essentially fucking her.

She felt her clit slowly fatten up again, and she bit down hard on her lip. She didn’t think she could hold her legs up anymore.

“I think you’re almost ready,” Keith murmured, fingers slowing down. “I just want you to take another first.”

She looked down and watched him pull out again. His three fingers were now slowly stretching her and pushing inside once more. That time, it started to ache a little.

“I-I’m so full,” she gasped. “Keith.”

“You’re okay.” Keith kissed her forehead and kept them still. “You’re okay, baby. Relax for me.”

She took shaky breaths, chest heaving. She started to clench down on her fingers, making Keith groan. She knew he liked that.

“There we go.”

The praise made her shiver as he moved his fingers again. He gradually picked up the pace to fuck her again, and they curled up at an angle that made her jolt. She let out a loud cry. She knew this spot. She’d hit this all the time for her past partners. But this was the first time someone did that for her. It was even more incredible that she thought it’d be.

“Y-yes!” she gasped. “Keith, r-right there. Please.”

She whined, feeling his fingers massage her g-spot hard. She felt herself dripping with pre-come, and her toes curled.

“Shit, baby…” he crooned. “I think you’re ready, Taka.”

She whimpered when Keith let up. He pulled them out, leaving her stretched open and gaping. Keith poured more lube on his hand and started slicking his cock up, and Shiro relaxed underneath him when he held her waist. “Still okay?”

She nodded her head, panting and keeping her eyes on his face. “Yes.”

She glanced down for a moment to watch Keith take hold of his cock and rub it against her clit. The slight touches made her twitch, and Keith moved his cock down to her hole, the tip starting to press in. She inhaled sharply as he moved the tip in. The stretch was a little thicker than three fingers.

“It’s okay,” Keith crooned, taking it slow. He only moved at her pace, only waiting until her body would relax before he’d move another inch inside.

She whined and gripped his shoulders. “K-Keith,” she moaned and hid her face in his neck. She gave him kisses there in between deep breaths. She felt calmer, not even realizing that she’d taken him to the hilt.

“That’s it, Taka…” he crooned and kissed her hair. “Good girl.”

She felt flustered and hummed. “Keep going,” she breathed.

Shiro gasped as Keith slowly pulled out to the tip, slow still when he moved forward once more. He moved in and out, slow and steady. She let out another moan, shivering and kissing his neck more.

“Taka, you feel amazing,” Keith moaned. “Y-you’re so good, baby.”

They’d both waited ten years for this. Shiro always imagined what it would be like, but reality was much better than fantasy. The wait was so worth it.

His hips were rolling more and more, and he increased his pace. His thrusts got firmer. She whimpered, head tilting back as she felt him fuck her faster. Keith had a tight grip on her hips.

“More,” she whined. “M-more. Please…”

He shifted his position so he was kneeling before her, having the perfect view of her body. She was shaking with a fully-body flush.

The pace changed dramatically. When he thrust in, it sent sparks throughout her body. He had the perfect angle to keep hitting her g-spot again.

“Fuck!” she cried out, tightly gripping the sheets below her. “Keith, f-fuck!”

Keith moaned, fingers curling into her skin. Potentially, his hands would be marked on her body with hot bruises, and the idea aroused her more. His pace didn’t once stop or slow down, and she was growing more and more overwhelmed.

Tears began falling freely from her eyes, and she was full of bliss. If she tried to speak, it wasn’t English. She was incoherent, and babbling nonsense while she cried, and Keith ate it all up. The closer she got, the harder she started to sob. It was too much.

Keith noticed. He groaned and moved his hand down while fucking her harder, rapidly stroking her clit. “F-fuck, Taka. Come. Come for me, Taka.”

She couldn’t hold back, even if she wanted to try. When she came hard, she let out a scream, oversensitive and her body responding ecstatically. Her limbs were shaking from the shocks, and not once did Keith slow down. Each hard thrust brought her orgasm higher.

There were white, stick streaks all over her belly, and when Keith quickly pulled out and stroked himself to finish, his mess was on her skin as well. She was still in shock, looking into his eyes and breathing hard. He was panting as well, a smile on his face as he looked at her.

They leaned close and kissed each other, Shiro shaking as she tried to reciprocate his passion. She couldn’t help but start giggling against his lips, the bliss filling her with warmth.

“I love you,” he murmured in the kiss. “I love you so much, Taka.”

“I-I love you,” she stammered.

She felt like she was going to pass out. Briefly, Keith had gotten out of bed. The next time she felt him near her, he was rubbing warm towels over the mess on her belly. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she could feel phantom thrusts still from the intense pleasure he gave her.

They made her grin. “T-that was amazing,” she hummed.

Keith chuckled and kissed her. “Yeah, it was. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

She smiled while keeping her eyes closed. She was already drifting off to sleep. She felt a kiss on her forehead and warm blankets when she passed out, mind already filled with sweet dreams.

\--

 _It felt like a dream. When_ Shiro woke up the next morning, she looked down at herself briefly to see she was naked under the blankets, and she wasn’t in her bed. She realized last night really did happen and grinned.

Keith was still sleeping, and she snuggled closer to kiss his cheek before starting to get up. Her ass was pretty fucking sore.

She took a hot shower and changed. She tried not to think too deeply about their size difference, although she was a little disappointed she couldn’t really wear his clothes, but she made do. She pulled on of Keith’s button-down shirts over her torso, and the fact that her breasts were barely covered by the fabric of the opened shirt made her feel sexy. A part of his sweats came up a little high on her ankles. Fortunately, they fit around her waist, so that worked well for her.

She made breakfast. Her skills only amounted to her making a nice bowl of cereal, some eggs, and toaster waffles. An effort was made, though.

At around eight in the morning, Keith woke up. He came out in a shirt and boxers, his cheeks red when he was looking at her.

“Good morning,” she beamed and set the table. The open shirt did little to conceal her breasts from the side.

Keith grinned and moved closer. “Walking around dressed like that around me is dangerous,” he teased and held her waist.

She giggled and kissed him. “Just sit down and eat your breakfast.”

They kissed each other again happily before settling down at the table.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Keith chuckled and started to eat.

“I try.” She felt relaxed and peaceful, not even that hungry.

\--

 _Shiro moved in with Keith a_ couple months after that. They were so happy to spend more of their days together, and they each surprised each other at their jobs with lunches and presents. Shiro continued saving for her transition, and Keith was so supportive after she had FFS. When she looked at the mirror now, she felt more comfortable with her reflection, and her wedding pictures were ethereal and breathtaking.

That’s right. Four years into her transition, and two years into the best relationship she ever had, Taka Shirogane finally became a bride.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on twitter: @cryptic_gabriel


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